Friday, January 4, 2013

Noah Pozner: stories

On that faraway summer day, Noah -who was then three - had found tiny freshwater seashells on the strip of sand and rock that passes for a beach near our cabin by the River. He wasn't sure what they were. He was pensive and full of questions. He was sitting on the catwalk next to me, I had my camera and I started snapping away because that's what I often do when I am around my grandkids. I remember he was happy I took a picture of the shells. I don't remember what we talked about. Probably the Native Americans who used to live on those shores and what they did for food or how deeply the River freezes in the winter, so deeply that one can actually drive on it. Like most children, Noah was very curious about the world and I shall never forget how easy it was to snap him out of a rambunctious mood by just starting to talk quietly of something completely unrelated to what was going on.
Every day the girls and I sit down on the couch and read aloud from a wonderful series of books a dear friend sent us. It is the story of Ivy and Bean, two little girls who become best friends against the odds and go on to have all kinds of adventures. Sophia and Arielle love these girls. From the get-go, they each picked one as their avatars and started to live vicariously through them. They now prefer reading that story to once-favorite activities such as watching kids' shows or movies. I don't know where the series will take us (there are six books in all and we have only reached the end of book two) but I can already see it working its magic. Ivy and Bean are learning to be a twosome, Arielle and Sophia too. They have started to knit over the huge hole that the loss of Noah has created in the fabric of their lives by tightening the bonds that exist between them.
Such is the power of books that this one is helping them cope with one of life's most horrible tragedies. Noah was an excellent reader: I don't know that he would have liked that particular series since both characters are girls. Maybe even Arielle and Sophia wouldn't like it as much if Noah was still with us. They were first and foremost a threesome and a very strong one. But today the story is serving a purpose and I love it. I can imagine Noah sitting quietly near us, absent and yet so very present, taking it all in with his big pensive eyes, rejoicing at the path his sisters are taking.




33 comments:

  1. My heart hurts for Noah and his family each and every day. I love reading the stories that you share. He was easily a child anyone would love. You have been very blessed to have shared the life of a very special little angel!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, indeed Noah was an easy child to love. Thank you for your kind comment.

      Delete
  2. I love your stories. I find myself looking for them everyday. The only problem is I burst into tears everytime I do. I ask myself how can I feel so strongly for someone I have never met. It's his precious eyes and smile. Or perhaps it's that everytime I look at my 6 yr old son I think of sweet Noah. Last night we had tacos for Noah......my kids loved it. My son said to me last night while I was in tears again..."Mommy don't cry. When I grow up I'm gonna protect the city and get the bad man that hurt those kids". I imagine that Noah would say the same to stop his Mom's tears. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers Sweet Noah Angel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so sorry to make you cry, Patricia. Noah wouldn't want that. He was a happy child. We should start a Smile For Noah campaign!

      Delete
    2. Thank you. You trully are an amazing person. I will smile or Noah.

      Delete
  3. I love reading your story's about Noah, it really shows how loved he was, and still is. Noah will forever be in my heart. I wish nothing but peace to your family and a tremendous love from Canada.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Cleidy! I am glad Noah has found a home in your heart.

      Delete
  4. Another lovely post. I'm glad that the girls are slowly adapting to their new world without Noah and that they are learning how to keep his memory alive. I'm also thankful for these stories because they help all of us learn a bit more about Noah each day. It sounds like you have a wonderful family, and it makes me so happy to know that you are all taking care of each other and helping each other through this awful time.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Like Patricia, I cry every single time I read one of your posts, sometimes I start and think it won't happen, but next thing I feel is my eyes unable to hold the emotion.

    indeed, this tragedy hit too strongly, and still sometimes I have a shiver, thinking it cannot possibly be true.

    Keep reading, and keep posting....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Sally! Noah would be sad to see you cry. Nothing seems to make the girls happier than to talk about him and recall him to life in their minds. I like the light in their eyes when they talk about him. That's the best way they have found to remain a threesome in their hearts.

      Delete
  6. As Patricia said I too look for your stories about sweet Noah faithfully. He was truly deeply loved and continues to be loved but now the entire world loves him and his family so much. Me and my boys continue to pray for love and that shine of happiness come back to your lives. Think of Noah as he is, an amazing rambunctious, curious, and inquisitive little angel. We <3 u Noah and pozner/Haller family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, I am glad to know that Noah is known and loved throughout the world but in real life, you know, he wasn't truly an angel. Just a regular little boy, full of life and mischief. Smart and great fun and with a huge heart. But not an angel... :)

      Delete
  7. This is another beautiful story of Noah! Like so many others, I look forward to reading them everyday. It has been an honor to get to know him, although through God's mysterious ways I feel like I already do! I can just picture Noah exploring the world through his beautiful big blue eyes! I am so glad that you and the girls are finding comfort in such a sweet childhood book series. MC, your writings are a gift to us all and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing them! As usual, much love and prayers are being sent your way today. And tonight, my husband, two children, and I are going out for tacos and will toast to Noah's life and his soaring spirit:)
    Erin Gill
    Mason, OH

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Erin! You guys enjoy your tacos. It is so very sweet to think that you and your family are going out for his favorite food...

      Delete
  8. My girls love the Ivy and Bean books and there are actually 9 in the series. I would be happy to purchase the last three for Sophia and Arielle if you will let me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why, Deanna, this is so very kind. The girls would love to have the whole series (I wasn't even aware there were more than six books).

      Delete
  9. Your strength is beyond measure, as is the beauty of your darling grandson. You are an inspiration to those you reach out to and we are beyond fortunate to be able to read your words and share in your memories. Noah and everyone of those beautiful children will be remembered in our hearts. Thank you beyond words for your generosity and for sharing the beauty of Noah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you but you know, what choice is there but to be strong? If we were not, the world would go to pieces for Noah's siblings and that cannot be allowed to happen...

      Delete
  10. It softens my heart and strengthens my soul to know that Noah's siblings are doing well. I worry so much about the siblings (and friends) of the murdered children. Reading this, I wonder if I have it all wrong, if it is the adults I should worry about more. You are a wonderful writer. Thank you for sharing this with the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Christina. The more I learn about grief, the more I understand that everyone's is different. The girls are learning to cope but a huge void has been created in their lives and they will never completely get over it. As for the grown-ups, they already know they never will. But they too will learn to make do.

      Delete
  11. My heart breaks for you and Your family. And there isn't a day I don't think of sweet Noah, the other children and the adults that were so tragic taken from This world and from their families. Thank you for sharing ur wonderful memories of Noah and of the family! How do I wish that I had the power to bring all26 angels back to their families!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I too wish I had that power. The worst thing besides losing Noah is to see his parents, siblings and extended family grieve and not be able to take their pain away...

      Delete
  12. In the last 21 days I have learned more about love than I have learned in 44 years. Thank you MC.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I too look forward to reading your stories everyday. You are such an incredibly talented writer and your words have really given such a wonderful peak into your life with Noah. I feel like I know him. I wish I did know him. I wish my son could have been friends with him so they could be little rascals together. I feel like we have no right to grieve with you, but I hope it's a tiny comfort to know that so many of us think of you and your family everyday. I love hearing about Arielle and Sophie. Please do not hesitate to ask us if there is anything we can do to help as they grow up. There is a whole virtual community out there who would like nothing more.

    Jen in St. Louis

    ReplyDelete
  14. Stunning; heartwarming.
    (Marla)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hello,
    You don't know me but I came across your blog one day, as I was looking up Noah's story. When I saw the pictures of the children who were killed in the tragedy at Sandy Hook, I couldn't help but notice Noah's little face. I, like many others, have chosen to remember not the person behind this devious act but to remember at least one of the children and get to know them as much as I could. I have chosen to remember Noah. I think of him often and can't help but imagine the pain your family must feel. Noah must have been put on this earth to make a difference and perhaps he and those other children have saved other children from such tragedies because they have created such awareness throughout, not only your country, but mine as well. Many people I know,now know who Noah Pozner is. His name is already making a difference in this world. Life is so unpredictable and through your story and many others, I have learned that when I one day have children - I will never ever take them for granted. I wish you and your family the best in 2013. I know this message probably doesn't mean much, as you get so many messages already but I just felt you should know that I too, keep your family in my thoughts.

    Tiffany from Vancouver, Canada

    ReplyDelete
  16. I know I'm not supposed to cry, but I can't help it. I feel as though I knew him. Little Noah Bean and his shells.

    xxxxx

    Francis-Olive

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wendy Healy Andover, NJJanuary 4, 2013 at 8:30 PM

    I think of Noah and your family everyday! I love reading the stories about him! They put a smile on my face! He was a beautiful boy who
    I will never forget! I also have a rambunctious 2.5 year old boy (brogan) who loves tools, taking things apart to see how they work and asking about a million questions. I promise to not take any moment I have with him for granted for life can be so short. Children are so precious. Please keep the stories about Noah coming!!! You are all in my thoughts and prayers...everyday.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thank you for helping me deal with this terrible tragedy that took your Noah. I will return to work on Monday as a teacher in an elementary school. We have lock down drills every month somehow thinking we can prepare for someone who wants to kill our students and us as well. The shootings at Sandy Hook could have happened in any town any where. Every loud noise I hear outside my classroom catches my attention now. I am and will always be different than before. I will never take for granted my students hugs or endless stories they sometimes have. I will cherish my grandchildren's kisses even more. Thank you for helping me grieve. I think we have created our own little therapy group here. You have given us an opportunity to try and sort through this nightmare through our thoughts and feelings. I appreciate that very much.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I applaud you for being so strong and for helping Noah's siblings through this ordeal. The whole tragedy has moved me unlike any other event, and it has been a topic I've been blogging about in the past couple posts. And, since finding this blog, little Noah keeps coming to mind. I just came back from vacation in Hawaii where all my relatives are (I live all the way on the East Coast), and I made sure that I hugged my little cousins tighter and a little more frequently this time around. I pray for you and the others affected by this loss every day; may God give you peace and comfort in the days to come.

    ReplyDelete
  20. What was Noah's favorite tacos? I want to make it sure that those will be my favorite also. I'm already a great fun of Noah though we'd not ever met.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I am find myself looking for your stories everyday. I shed a tear every single night for all the kids but especially Noah. He resembles my son so much, and each night I pray that your family find some level of comfort in his beautiful memories. I want you and your family to know that there is not a day that doesn't go by that I think of you, your family and Noah. I have made it a personal issue never to forget, because I find that this tragedy and moreso their memories to be forgetten. I talk to my family each day and I tell them that I admire your courage and your daughters strength. I know it is hard but believe me when I say it is admireable. I am like your other readers, I didn't know Noah but yet I feel so much for him. I have made my kids, as we go to school to pray for you and your family every morning. Just know that someone in El Paso, TX prays for you every morning. I can't say that I pray for Noah because if there is someone living a happy, joyful life right it is Noah. He couldn't be in a better place. But rather than praying for Noah, I pray to Noah that he shine his beautiful eyes at God to give his family comfort. I know he does, I know he ask God to help his sister, mommy, daddy and all his family. Lastly, thank you, thank you for sharing these beautiful pieces of heaven through Noah's memories. You and your family were luckly to have the closest image of God in your family, thank you for sharing that with all of us. As many have said we are not there, we are not part of your family but we share your very real pain, us too are looking for that comfort and your kindness through this blog has given us that comfort...Thank you,
    Edna

    ReplyDelete
  22. Your family have attracted so many with your love to each other with your determination to make a change for schools to make the saver. You stories are sad but beautiful. I wish of course most of all that you were still a normal family, living your private lives with Noah and nothing had happened. The world is truly grieving with you. It must be also scary to think that one day memory of Noah will fade away and people will just move on. That's the way of life. However, this blog, photos and you as a family will keep Noah's legacy alive. Stay strong!

    ReplyDelete

 

Blog Designed by: Deanna @ Design Chicky