Saturday, June 21, 2014

California dreaming


Street art in Chico
It was our first night in California for this trip - we had stopped in Chico in the Sacramento River Valley - and I had a dream.
It started with a commotion in the garage at our old house. I could hear it through the closed door. Women's voices. My husband's voice. He was protesting loudly. I opened the door and saw a silver white van parked in the empty garage where our car used to be. The van's nose was facing out and its back hutch was up. Two silver-haired ladies were standing in front of it, arms crossed, barring access. I rushed out. "What's going on?" The ladies' arms came down: "Miss, we have a delivery for you and you only. Here it is." Turning, they pulled out a big white cardboard box and opened it. The side walls fell away. In the back of the van now stood a tall house plant in a large old-fashioned copper pot with wrought-iron handles. The plant had silvery lacy leaves and a pale green stem edged with a downy blush.
One of the ladies handed me an envelope. The message was in my mom's familiar handwriting: "May this plant bring you much happiness in your new home." Never mind that mom has been gone four years now. In my dream I felt both happiness that she had remembered, tenderness to see that she hadn't changed (she always loved giving house plants) and frustration that she had gotten the dates and addresses mixed up because the moving van was gone and we were flying down and there was no way I could take this big plant with me on the plane...
I was about to wake up out of sheer vexation when I felt a tug on my sleeve. It was a young boy. One I couldn't recall having seen before. He lay a hand on my forearm and said almost shyly: "I am very happy you are moving to California" and just like that he was gone. But not so fast that I didn't catch sight of a shock of shiny dark hair and a pair of bright eyes. Noah! It had been Noah. Older than he would be today for sure. In his early teens probably and different looking but the hair, the eyes were unmistakable...
I woke up for good. My heart was beating fast and I was elated. Call me weird, call me sentimental, call me irrational. I will be the first to agree that all of that may well apply. But I felt deeply comforted.
A couple of hours later the Man and I went out for breakfast (for real this time) and on the table next to ours in the café where we had coffee and a croissant was this paper that someone had left or forgotten...
The headline grabbed my attention first of course. But then I saw the hands and I understood that these hands were what the dream had been all about: holding on for dear life on either side of the Great Divide.
I don't intend to ever stop...

18 comments:

  1. Wonderful omens for the next chapter

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  2. Cara MC,
    nella vita io ho imparato che "Nulla accade per caso", non sentirti quindi strana nel pensare che le persone a cui hai voluto bene nella loro e nella tua vita, siano invece ancora accanto a te con la loro "presenza silenziosa". Loro sono più vicini a noi di quanto si possa immaginare e ti hanno voluto affettuosamente accomapagnare in questo nuovo percorso della tua vita per farti sentire che non sei sola....
    Un abbraccio Anna G.

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    1. That is so true, Anna, and exactly how I feel. Un abbraccio anche a te, MC

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  3. Speechless. Dreams are powerful and full of meanings, as you know much better than anyone else.

    there is no doubt in my mind that you are taking the correct path... keep California dreaming alive forever!

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    1. Thank you, Sally! I believe it too...

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    2. Oh MC, that was a wonderful dream, and I know that Noah and your Mom were there for you.

      Thank you so much for sharing.

      My thoughts and prayers are always with Noah and your family.

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  4. Dearest MC, your dreams are very meaningful to you. You are so blessed as your Mum and Noah visited you to let you know your move to California is blessed and they are always with you, watching over you.
    With much love and best of luck for your move and settling in.
    Monica

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  5. I got chills reading this just now.

    A couple of hours ago very good friend and I were discussing our dreams and how sad it is that so many people do not have anyone to talk to about them and how many simply brush them aside as 'just dreams'….

    Well, we spend about 1/2 of our lives asleep and dreaming so I am one who just can't believe they don't mean something. I also like to think that when I am asleep it is the only time that my usually very active conscious mind, that likes to control everything, is not in control so that the other parts of my mind that are also fully active but not conscious in the same way gets to have it's say.

    Your words here today have brightened my day by reminding me about these things that do 'break though' somehow and keep us keeping on when the weight of this world seems so oppressive.

    Thank you for sharing MC.

    Take Care,
    JanetH

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    1. Hello JanetH, I too like to be reminded that there is more to the world and to ourselves than meets our waking eye...

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  6. Very touching, I feel Noah always knew how to touch your heart, and he still does.

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  7. Hi,
    I was looking at the newspaper again, and I noticed it had "page 18". For what it is worth, in Judiasm the number 18 is a good luck number because it is the number for the word "life." Thinking of you and Noah.

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  8. The coincidence of the page number is amazing. Thank you.

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  9. The coincidence of the page number is amazing. Thank you.

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  10. What a comforting dream! As a psychotherapist working with dreams was immensely helpful and a major part of my treatment, and I myself had several dreams where I received a message from a deceased loved one.

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  11. Signs are everywhere! ;)

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